Confucius Say!


ok, random sample: how many folks here LURVE Chinese food? a show of hands……Yep, thats what I thot! Just about everybody! And what is your favorite Chinese food? Chow Mein? Sweet and Sour? Stir Fry? Fried Rice? Teriyaki Chicken? I think I love the fried rice the best….IMO, if the rice is good, everything will be good! But even better than the rice, I love FORTUNE COOKIES! Right? Dont we all hold our breath just a bit to see what bit of wisdom we’re going to get? And dont we compare with everyone else?

I work with a gal who is gaga for Sushi. The folks at her favorite restaurant know us on sight. We’ve gone there for lunch so often, when its time to pay the bill, we each get our own BAG of fortune cookies (thanks to me of course!) So, we started comparing our fortunes….and her best ones said:
NEVER SNIFF THE INSIDE OF A HAT.
WHEW! I NEVER THOUGHT I’D GET OUT OF THERE!

My best ones said:
IGNORE PREVIOUS COOKIE
IT IS A FOOLISH FISH THAT IS CAUGHT TWICE WITH THE SAME BAIT! (that one hurt a bit!)
LUCKY YOU! GET OUT YOUR PARTY CLOTHES.  THE CLEAN ONES!
NO JOB IS SO SIMPLE THAT IT CANNOT BE DONE WRONG.  (SO TRUE!)

I went online once to see if anyone else had a fortune cookie fetish like me, and lo and behold, there were some! here’s my favorite fortune cookie links:
Weird Fortune Cookies.com
Tasteless Fortunes.com
Funny Fortunes

When I was a kid we used to tell “Confucius Say” jokes such as these:

Confucius say
He who go to bed with itchy bottom wake up with smelly fingers
Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.
Man’s wife his better half, his mistress his better whole.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.
Man who walk in middle of road get run over by bus.
Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.
Don’t sweat the petty stuff … and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.
Woman who wear jockstrap have make believe ballroom.
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

and now for the real deal:

Confucius say:
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.
It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice.
It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

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~ by irishgrl on August 6, 2008.

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